Such a Strong Love

I always used to feel so incredibly strong. I knew I was fine on my own, that I could fix almost anything and even if there was something I couldn’t fix, I would always find a way. A solution.  I like being the one that helps everyone else, that solves their problems and shows them the good aspect in everything they’re currently going through.

And you, you are just like me. You’re superman. I always knew you helped all your friends through the hard times in their lives. I liked that about you. I think that was the moment I realized you were more than just the funny dude I loved to hang around with. 

I guess seeing your weaknesses and scars gave me the confidence to reveal my own ones to you…knowing you were just like me, I was no longer scared to be weak for once myself. And all the things that scared me before – the caressing, the way you have to let all your walls come down, the way you can no longer hide behind a mask when you fall in love – lost their ability to make me run away from people.

I don’t have to be superwoman around you. I can be the goofy, silly, crazy, weird, screwed and crippled and wounded me around you and you still think I’m the most gorgeous girl in the world.

I’ll never forget the day I realized that I’d fallen in love with you after we had been friends .  And what I love so much is that being in love with you doesn’t make me love crazy…it doesn’t make me go through the horrible ups and downs of the usual “love me, love me not”-game. There’s just that warm feeling, like a wave that goes through my body from head to toe when you’re near, and the confidence that I can rely on you no matter what happens.

By giving me the confidence to be weak around you you have made me feel more superwoman-like than any guy before you, and never have I felt such a strong love as I do for you.

Thank you for being my superman.

With all the love I have to give, N ...

Get Through This Together

No one could ever have the slightest insight into the connection we have, unlike like anyone else’s, and we know it. Each new day with you was the happiest day of my life. You are so different than anyone else, no one can ever measure up to be the man you are when you’re with me. You make me feel safe and happy in the most scary and hurtful of times. Nothing or no one could ever touch me in your arms. We’ve been through rough times, emotional times, the best times, and times that just sail by and we got through it all. We’re about to enter one of the toughest times we’ve ever been though. And I know we haven’t accomplished anything like this before but hang in there, cause I love you more than I’ll ever be able to explain. I know its hard for us to know how far away the next time we’ll see each other will be, I know its hard going to sleep and waking up alone. But just wait until it’s just you and me together forever. Just wait until we get through this together and we can experience the world together all over again. And we can fall in love a second time, an even more deeper and richer love than we’ve ever had before. There will be times where we feel like letting go of this emotional roller coaster that we choose to go on but no matter how dark and scary things may get, there’s a light at the end of the tunnel. We can do it, we’ll help each other stay in there, we’re a team. Lean on me if you need help and I’ll help you. I’ll be there for you no matter how far away cause you’re my college sweetheart and there’s nothing more special than the connection we have. You made an impression on me that will last a lifetime. We became who we are together. We formed each other into the best of best of friends, we have a grasp on each other that can never be broken. You’ll always be there in my heart as my one and only love. Forever. It’s you and me.

Don't Give Up

From the first day I met you I was hooked.. there was no going back. That one "bump" changed my life. 

You always ask if I knew what I was getting myself into would I have stayed? The answer is: Yes, yes a million times. I loved you for who you are and nothing could of changed that. Distance and time, they don't matter. You've loved and accepted me for exactly who I am, you put up with my every flaw, each day I fall more and more in love with you. As you go and chase your dreams you will always have my heart. We're the dynamic duo. I am so proud of you. I love you bigger than the sky.

To everyone else: If you love him, don't let him go. Time is precious. Let the little things go and enjoy the time you have. If he makes you feel loved each and everyday, if you can be yourself when you're with him, if he can make you laugh, if he is your best friend. Don't give up, in the end it's worth it all. Believe.

Things are Different Now

Things are different now. No other eyes are as captivating. No other smile is as contagious. No one else’s words are as reassuring. No other arms are as comforting. I don’t long to hear any other voice on the other side of the phone. I don’t get butterflies at the thought of anyone else.

Things are different now. When another walks by, I no longer give a second look. It’s like no one else exists; no one but you. They say that “love is blind;” and if anything, I’m only blind to everyone else. No one can measure up to you. They always fall short. 

Things are different now. Seeing through the eyes of love is like seeing under a microscope. I see things in you that I could never see in others, with my old eyes naked of love. Each little quirk, story, and moment with you are like the cells that make you who you are to me. The more I know you, discover things about you, the deeper I fall, captivated by the simplistic nature of who you are. It’s as though I’ve discovered something for the very first time, and now that I know of its existence I can’t imagine a world without. 

Things are different now. As I learn about you, I am also learning about myself. I’ve never felt like I quite belonged in this world until now. Until I had someone to walk beside me, encourage me, dream with me. 

Things are different now. I smile at the thought of you. I cry at the thought of being away from you. I fear, always have and always will, but with you it’s a different fear. It isn’t so much a fear of you causing harm, but a fear of losing you to the unknown.

 Things are different now. I let my guard down. Give you a straight shot to my heart and all that I am. I trust you. Something that is not easy for me to do. Things are different now. I love this difference: the joy, the anxiousness, and the longing. I hate this difference: the unknown, the risks, and the doubt.

 Things are different now. Please, be careful. I never thought this would happen. I had given up hope. But here you are…my hope in love, in true happiness, in the future. 

Things are different now. Thank you.

I love you not only for what you are, but for what I am when I am with you. I love you not only for what you have made of yourself, but for what you are making of me. I love you for the part of me that you bring out.

A Gift, to be Loved by You

N,

I should have guessed, when I first laid eyes on you that I was in trouble. I was the one you chose, out of all the doe eyed, helpless girls you chose me, and I was lost. I can't remember when I lost control of it, when I fell, but I do remember the way you looked at me, the way you touched me, like there was nobody else in the room, nobody but me.

You used to grab my hand, slip your fingers into mine, they were so much bigger, but they fit perfectly, and we were perfect. You would wrap yourself around me, you would engulf me, I always felt so safe in your arms, invincible. I could feel your love seeping into me, it smothered me and protected me from the world, because you were mine, and you were here.

And then you left.

You left, but your still here.

I miss your touch, your kiss, your smell, your everything.

Sometimes we'll speak to each other in different languages. We used to sneak off together, we would plan it all out, we were invincible, we still are.

I remember this time, you had made me a fort downstairs, and we were sitting in it like children. It was in the beginning, and I just remember, I remember how badly I wanted to tell you that I loved you, but I was terrified, I still am. Later we would speak those words to each other in confidentiality, though it didn't last for long. You would always show me off, you wanted everyone to know I was yours, this girl, who loved you, I was the greatest thing in the world to you.

Months later, we still belong to each other. We've gown up, grown together, but we're still the same. I would still cross the sea to be with you, and you'd still fight off bears and lions to protect me. It is the greatest thing to have ever happened to me, it is such a gift, to be loved by you, to be yours.

And through thick and thin, I will always be here, right by your side, right where I belong, with you.

Sincerely,

D

And then you came

They say, the best people come in your life when you least expect it. I was depressed and my heart ached, and then you came. You taught me how to love and how important God was.

You had the answers to all my questions. The hours we've spend texting about the most random things. I didn't even notice how I fell in love with you. With every part of you. I fell in love with your hair, your brown eyes and your crooked smile.

I fell in love with the way you've let me sleep against your shoulder. I got used to you, used to everything. Everyone said I changed. No one could ever do what you did and I love you for that.

I love you so bad that I can't think of you without crying. It's like my heart is exploding and screaming your name. Over and over again.

I love you so much. .A life without you is no love. Without you, my dearest, my love...there's no me.

You're the brightest of all. The sweetest of all. And still I'm waiting, craving for the moment you ask me to marry you. I guess that's all I ever want. Marry you, share the same life, same bed, same house. To share with you is all I ever want to do. But even if the day won't come, and you find love in someone else... please know that you're the bluest sky.

Maybe  God has other plans for both of us. Still I pray, each day, for us to get together someday.